What a mess...

I had a very different idea of what "messy" meant when I originally thought of the title to this post a few days ago.

In this blog, and in numerous conversations with colleagues and my wife, I have spoken about how amazed I am at what my students have been doing these past few weeks. I have seen things that I hoped would occur by the end of the year, but time and time again these students exceed all expectations I have of them.

It has been wonderful to watch them break out of the confines that normally or traditionally bind them. One of the strategies that I have been using is to remove myself as a resource. We go over the goals for the day, I give them an overview of what my expectations are in regards to any products they need to produce during class, I give them a few minutes to ask me questions, and then I go mute.

This was harder for me than I thought it would be, but is incredibly rewarding. They create plans as a whole class before moving forward. They elect a supervisor through blind voting, they break up into small groups according to student interests and skill sets. The leaders check in with small groups. Representatives from groups travel to other groups updating them on progress. Small group and whole group leaders meet with students without jobs asking them how they would like to contribute to the project. They come together a few minutes before the product is due and make sure that everyone understands the purpose and the final product. They make sure that everyone likes what the individual groups came up with.

They do it all without me suggesting any of it.

We are only in the fourth week of school, yet they act like they've been doing this forever. Each day I do something like this, they streamline the process a bit more. They try strategies that worked for them in the past. When they aren't that effective, they try new things.

But it's messy.

There's a lot of noise. There are miscalculations, things overlooked, plans that don't work.

But this is exactly what learning should be. No obstacle has gotten in their way that they couldn't find a way around. Sometimes there were obstacles there from the beginning that they just didn't see. Sometimes obstacles pop up somewhere in the process. But they move forward.

It is a beautiful mess.

Then "messy" took on a whole new meaning yesterday.

Without going into a lot of details, the "candy coating" is wearing off, and the "honeymoon" appears to be over with OOTA. It has nothing to do with a falling out or any particular incident. I do not even mean to imply that there is anything wrong with transitioning to the next phase. There was just a noticeable change in mood and atmosphere. The burdens that students carry started becoming much more apparent. There were a few absences. We struggled through changing Apple IDs and other tedious activities.  It was a mess yesterday.

I went home drained and discouraged. I saw pain in my students' eyes from the weights that they carry. I longed to be able to somehow make their lives better so they could be kids and not deal with the adult-sized burdens that some of them bear. I was frustrated that I allowed myself to become rattled by things of little lasting significance.

I was a mess.

Then the sun rose and it was a new day in more ways than one. Smiles were back. Fantastic progress was made on the projects that they are creating. Students were spilling their guts in their blogs. I felt the fire ignite within my own soul again. I saw students get excited about what they were blogging about moments after initially moaning about having to write anything. I saw students figure out ways to get around obstacles on their own. I saw them write with honesty and openness. I saw spelling mistake after spelling mistake. I saw some students momentarily off task. I saw students help each other. I saw a student return from being absent and not miss a single beat with his project. I saw a student display more independence and willingness to take charge of his learning than he has displayed so far. I saw students laying on tables, but on task. I saw students working collaboratively in the hall. I saw students taking selfies.

It was a mess.

And I loved every moment of it...